Last week a woman from a nearby village came for a consult at the external clinic. While I was triaging the patients I asked her why she came for a consult that day. She responded by telling me that she was pregnant and she came for prenatal care. I asked her how far along she was and she did not know, but she thought she was quite far, like 7 or 8 months. Hopefully I did a fairly good job at hiding the shock and skepticism on my face because I did not in anyway believe that this woman was 8 months pregnant. I wouldn't have even guessed she was pregnant if I saw her on the street. She left her appointment that day with a referral for an ultrasound so we could try to assess how far along she really was. She was planning to come back the next week with the ultrasound results. She didn't quite last that long...

Early Friday morning the ranch doctor (The amazing Dr. Merlin!) got a call from a patient saying that she had terrible back pain. He told her to come to the external clinic and that he would assess her when she arrived. She failed to mention the fact that she had just been to the clinic on Tuesday or that she was pregnant. Unfortunately it was my morning off from the clinic, but Laura, another volunteer nurse was working. When the woman arrived at the clinic Merlin examined her and could already see the baby crowning. There was no way that this laboring mother was going to make it to the hospital in Tegucigalpa before the baby arrived. Things happened fast and the external clinic quickly turned into a labor and delivery unit.

All and all, things went very smoothly. The poor mother was extremely tired because she had walked from her village and then taken a public bus to get to the clinic, all while in very active labor! In the end, mom and baby boy both did great and a new life came into the world at exactly 1:30pm on May 21st. The baby weighed around 7 pounds and was clearly full term. He needed oxygen for the first few hours, but soon turned a very healthy pink and did just wonderfully. They brought mom and baby up to the internal clinic where I spent two days and nights with them.

Even though it was a very joyful situation to see this new little guy come into world, it was very bitter sweet. The mother was very young and came from a very poor background. She made it very clear in the first few hours that she did not want to keep the baby. She did not want hold the baby and refused to breastfeed. Also, she did not name him. She was very adamant that she wanted to leave the clinic immediately and leave the baby at NPH. We convinced her that it was important for her health and safety to stay the night. I stayed over night in the clinic with her and the baby boy. I tried to sensitively talk to her and make her as comfortable as possible. I woke up every two to three hours to feed my little friend and make sure that the mother was doing well after the delivery.

Don't judge the hat! I know its ridiculous looking but it was all we had!

I spent the next two days at the clinic as well, caring for mom and baby. It finally came out the the mother had not told anyone that she was pregnant. She was planning to go home and never tell her family that she had had a child. She still lived at home with her mother, father, and sister. It was incredible to me that no one had known she was pregnant. Finally around 9 pm on Saturday she called her father. It was very emotional, but turned out very well in the end. Her family had been extremely worried about her. She had told them she was going to the clinic for a stomach ache on Friday and had never returned. They had even contacted the police and reported her missing. After she hung up the phone her mood was visibly changed. She showed much more interest in her new baby and even held him for a good portion of the evening. She was still wary about taking care of him and feeding him, but I helped her and taught her as much as I could about newborn care. During this time it also came out that she already had another child, a two year old daughter. Her sister, whom she lives with, helps her take care of her daughter. The next morning, her mother, father and sister came to the clinic. They were very happy to see their daughter and even more excited about having a new baby in the family. It was clear that the child was going to a family that would love him and want him very much. The mother's sister, who was currently caring for her other daughter, was more than willing and capable of caring for the child.

Watching my little guy leave was harder than I expected. Even though he had only been here for two days, I had still grown attached. I cared for him, fed him, bathed him, and cuddled him almost from the moment he was born until he left two days later. It was so incredible to see this new little life come into the world. It broke my heart to see that he was unwanted! He is such a beautiful little boy! I wanted to pack him in a carry on and head straight to the US. Also, when I found out that there was a possibility that he would stay at NPH I grew even more attached! I pictured him in Casa Suyapa and having the opportunity to see him grow for his first few months of life. Even though I was a little sad and apprehensive to watch the baby leave, I was glad that he would be supported and loved.

Although I was sad to see my unnamed baby go, my kids in Casa Suyapa soon cheered me up. They continuously make me laugh every day. The chiquitos, the group of the littlest kids, were extremely confused about this child. They saw me with him in the clinic and are still convinced that it was my baby. Every time I encounter them they ask "y tu bebe Ana?" "and your baby Anna?" One little girl was extremely concerned that I had left him alone in the clinic. Were still working on understanding that even though I take care of them, I do not actually have my own children. After 10 months its still a confusing subject for two yearolds.

Update: Rancho Santa Fe

Time continues to fly by, and I get closer and closer to finishing my year of service here. Even so, each day still holds adventure and new opportunities to learn and grow. I have been incredibly grateful for the past few weeks, both in the clinic and in Casa Suyapa. I have just been genuinely enjoying my time here and my relationships with the kids. I would love to update by blog more often and share all that is happening down here but I can hardly remember all of the things that happen on a daily basis, much less everything that has happened in the last few weeks. Here are a few highlights that have stuck with me.

Casa Suyapa: Every night I spend in Casa Suyapa is just hilarious. The kids are always saying and doing ridiculous things and each day I get more attached to them. I love them so much! I cannot imagine what it will be like when they are not a part of my daily life any more. Most recently, the children have taken to calling me by by full name. Usually its just Ana Blauw, with an excentuaded auwww at the the end of Blauw. That noise does not really exist in Spanish words so they think it is really fun to say! Sometimes they even go for the Ana Ruth Blauw. It continuously cracks me up. At any time I may here my name being called from all corners of the Ranch. They other day I was walking by the office and out of the window I heard a little voice yelling Ana Blauw, Ana Blauw, Ana Ruth Blauw. It was a Dulce Milagros, a very vocal two year old from Casa Suyapa.

Clinica: One of the best parts of my job in the clinic is that when new children come to the ranch they first spend a week in the clinic. They do this so that they can be checked out medically, but also so they can ease into life at the Ranch slowly. Through out their week in the clinic they slowly integrate into the home they will be living in, and then on Friday night they move to their permanent house. Recently we had a little two year old girl named Evelyn come to the Ranch. She actually stayed in the clinic for two weeks because it was suspected that she had Tuberculosis. Luckily this did not turn out to be true, and she was negative for TB, but she still remained in the clinic until she was healthy enough to move to Casa Suyapa. It is so amazing to see the transformation of kids when they come to the Ranch! Some are incredibly malnourished or sick, and within a few months you can begin to see a real change in them. Some have been terribly abused or abandoned and are incredibly timid or angry. The change in this children is also evident as they spend more time in a loving and supportive environment. Evelyn, the most recent addition to our large family, came to the Ranch because her mother is in the end sages of AIDS and will most likely pass away soon. Evelyn herself is also HIV positive, but is very healthy and taking a full load of antiretroviral medications. Her story is quite sad because not only was her mother very sick, but she also suffered from a variety of mental illnesses as well. As a result Evelyn was abused by her mother, and even left in the bottom of a latrine. When she first came to the clinic, she was incredibly shy and did not speak a word for an entire week! In here three short weeks at the Ranch she has changed immensly and is such a beautiful, loving little girl. She still does not speak often but smiles all the time.

NPH Honduras sponsers four children who do not live at the Ranch, but who live in the village nearby and attend the local public primary school. Recently our national director went to visit the school and noticed that so many of the children appear to be malnourished and suffering from a variety of health problems. He asked our doctor, Merlin, and a few nurse to visit the school and screen the kids. Yesterday we walked to the school and screend 40 of the 84 children there. We are planning to go back next Thursday to see the rest. This experience was quite possibley one of my favorite that I have had so far in Honduras. It was incredibly interesting to see how different life is just outside of the Ranch. Our neighbors are suffering, and the kids are not getting enough to eat. Many walk miles and miles to school eachday without shoes and without eating anything for breakfast. This lifestyle is typical in most parts of Honduras. Children and families are in need of health care, better nutrition, and health education. Merlin, another nurse, and I weighed and measured all the children, gave out mulitvitamins and anti-parasite medication. We talked about basic things life safe drinking water, hand washing, and the importance of brushing your teeth. We identified quite a few kids who need further treatment and they will be coming to our clinic at the Ranch on a regular basis to recieve further care and medications for free. It was a wonderful experience, and I am looking forward to doing more health teaching at this little public school.

I wish I could add more pictures to my blog, but alas, without my own computer its a struggle to upload photos. I will try to add photos soon!

Peace,
Anna

Oh How Time Flies!

Here I am, still in Honduras, nine months and five days after my journey began last July. Somehow I have survived thousands of communication errors, a military coup, weeks of country wide, curfew, three medical brigades, working in Haiti after the earthquake, and multiple Ranch kid emergencies. I may be prematurely aging, but I think I will come out no worse for the ware in the end.

The past two weeks have been quite a whirlwind. Between returning from the beach, a crazy week at work, and having two visitors, time has flown. First, my visitors came last Saturday. My dear cousin, Mary, and friend, Austin, came to the Ranch. It was really good to see familiar faces from home, and have the opportunity to introduce them to my life here. It was slightly odd to have my two worlds intersect, but it was really great. I am so glad they got to see my kids, the clinics, and Honduras.

Because Honduras has become my home, it is sometimes hard for me to remember the harsh realities and enormous poverty that surrounds me here. It becomes common place and I forget how much inequality and suffering there can be. Last week, a large reminder of these things was carried into the clinic. On Tuesday a two month old baby was brought to the clinic by his parents. He was extremely malnourished, dehydrated, and very sick. He had, had a twin but the twin died the day before becasue of the same ailments. The poor little thing only weigh 7 pounds at two months. He looked like a premature newborn. His fontanels, or soft spots, on his head were extremely sunken in because of the dehydration, and he was two week to even cry. I spent a good portion of the day hold him and feeding him oral rehydration solution through a syringe. His parents did not want to stay at the clinic with him, but we finally convinced the mother to stay so we could try to teach her how to take care of her baby. The mother and father were both very young. They came from a very poor village nearby, and niether one could read or write. They had little to no education and no idea how to take care of their baby. The baby and his mother stayed in the clinic for 6 days. We rehydrated the baby and made sure that he is getting adequate nutrition. The nurses and Dr. Merlin worked with the mother each day, teaching her what her baby needs and how to take care of him. By the time he was ready to leave he was looking much better. Still very small, but healthier! He and his mom will continue to come for weekly check ups for the next few months.

Last Friday brought another harsh reminder of the realities of life. The Ranch is so often such a happy place that I forget where my children came from. I forget that most of them have been abused or abandoned, and all of them have been through some sort of insufferable loss before they arrived here. Usually I just see them as children, happy and easy going, but last Friday I was reminded again of all the things they still have to overcome. Just after my visitors left I was working alone in the clinic. The rest of the staff were at a seminar at a hospital in Tegucigalpa. A 15 year old girl from the Ranch came into the clinic acting very strangely. I knew this girl fairly well from previous visits to the clinic and I knew that she had some severe psychological issues. She was severly abused as a child, lived in almost unlivible conditions, and her mother just passed away 5 months ago. In the past she has swallowed 3 needles and threatend suicide in other ways. After about 15 minutes she eventually confided in me her plans to try to committ suicide again. I really think that most of this was just a cry for attention, but even so it was a serious cry, signifying that things were not ok. I talked and listened to her for a few hours, trying my best to be as encouraging and therapeutic as possible. Eventually she calmed town and went to rest in her bed. After locking all sharp or dangerous objects in the pharmacy, I checked on her 10 minutes later and she was gone. She snuck out of the back of the clinic in attempt to run away from the Ranch. This girl had tried to run away before and I had no doubt that she was serious about her getaway. Thankfully she was intercepted and willingly came back to the clinic. This experience brought to light the terrible places where some of my kids come from. Sometimes they cannot escape them, even though they are at the Ranch. We have a large social work and psychological department working with so many kids, but sometimes it just is not enough to undo terrible pasts. This teenage girl was so desperate for love and consolation that it broke my heart. She stayed at the clinic through the weekend and has been seeing the psycholgoist daily. She is really doing much better. Even so, it is still so sad and sobering to see the lasting effects that her past has on her.

And so, after a fairly emotionally draining week I had the amazing chance to relax in a truly beautiful place. Some friends and I went to La Tigra for the weekend. It is a national park not to far from The Ranch. It is way up in the mountains in a beautiful little village called San Juancito. La Tigra is technically a cloud forest and is home to all types of tropical plants and animals. There is a German couple who live there and own a bed and breakfast. They rent out one small cabin and sell home made wine, bread, and jam. The view from the front porch of the cabin over looks a beautiful valley and the mountains beyond. I am slightly convinced that it is a little piece of heaven on Earth. On Saturday my friend Danielle and I went on a 3 hour hike to a beautiful water fall high up in the cloud forest. It was an amazing way to relax and rejuvinate for another week of work at NPH.

Well, that is all from me for now. I am going to try to update often in my three short months left here in Honduras! Sorry for no photos this time. My lab top officially died its long awaited death and I am now confined to a few very old, very sketchy Ranch computers.

Peace,
Anna

Ya Nos Vamos a La Playa!

Imagine your typical family vacation. Maybe you take a spring break trip to the beach in Florida or a mid summer adventure to a cabin up north on a lake. It is usually a relaxing getaway that breaks up the monotony of day to day life Maybe you swim, read, sleep, play cards, and hang out with family or friends. Now imagine taking a 4 day trip to the pacific ocean with 50 plus children under the age of 7. Relaxing....I think not.

Every year Casa Suyapa, the home for the youngest children at NPH, takes a trip to the beach in Southern Honduras. A generous donor, and friend of the Ranch, graciously lends his large beach house out to the tribe of Suyapans who make a yearly pilgrimage to the beach every spring. We set out early Monday morning and returned late last night. It was a wonderful experience and a lot of fun but needless to say, extremely tiring.

I arrived at Casa Suyapa early Monday morning ready for the beach! I walked in, and immediately a little girl named Karla threw up on my feet. Not a great start to our voyage. We had to leave the poor soul behind because of continued vomiting and high fever. Much kicking and screaming followed the decision to leave her in the clinic, but I eventually made it from the clinic back to Casa Suyapa. We soon all boarded the bus which was packed to the brim with Casa Suyapans, chaperons, food, water, and all the necessary items for a successful beach trip. The first thing we did was pass out Dramamine to most of the children. These kids are not used to riding in cars or buses and often become extremely car sick. Next, we passed out chips and cookies. An obvious choice for car sick children! Please note the sarcasm. Everything we passed was extremely exciting! We oohed and ahhhed over rivers and lakes, planes landing, cows, sheep, etc. It could not have been a more entertaining bus ride for 5 year olds. We arrived at our destination, La Playa de Las Gaviotas, approximately 5 hours later.

I was presently surprised when we arrived at the beach! It was a beautiful private beach on a little cove off of the pacific ocean. The house it self was perfect for Casa Suyapa! there were two large rooms with air conditioning. We took all the furniture out of the rooms and put down pads on the floor for the kids to sleep. Girls in one room, boys in the other. The tios, tias, other chaperons, and myself slept outside on a patio that overlooked the ocean.

Tuesday arrived and we headed down to the beach around 8 am. We inflated what seemed like a million floaty toys and the kids went absolutely nuts! The kids spent all day playing in the water and on the beach! We literally did not leave the beach until 6 in the evening. The Tias brought us lunch and water down to the beach and we ate in the shade of the palm trees. When the time finally to head back up tot he house everyone was exhausted! The first day a the beach was a success! At first I was extremely concerned because there was no life guard and I was by far the strongest swimmer! I immediately reverted back to my days a Camp Geneva of counting children and scanning the water! One tia did sustain a minor machete injury requiring stitches, while cooking, but the kids all made it out of the ocean safe and sound!

Around midnight on Tuesday night one of the Tias woke me up to tell me that one little boy was crying and crying in extreme stomach pain and had a fever. I was pretty worried about this particular little guy because he is one of our HIV positive kids. After a while the little boy confessed that he had been eating green mangoes off the tree outside the house, and that he hadn't pooped in 4 or more days! I was relieved that it was just a case of an upset stomach, but still could not calm his pain or fever. We tried everything from modern medicine to old Honduran remedies such as rubbing lemon water on the stomach to get our little friend to go to the bathroom. He screamed and cried for hours and finally fell asleep on the toilette around 5 am. I carried him to bed where he slept for two more hours. He awoke at 7:30 and we finally met success. He and I rested for a few hours before heading out for another long beach day.

The rest of Wednesday went smoothly. We spent all day Wednesday at the beach as well. At lunch time we had a special lunch of fresh fish, tajaditas ( fried plantains), and pico de gallo. Each kid received a whole fish, eyes and all. The kids were pretty funny. Some of them dug right in, enjoying every bite, and others were quite afraid of their meal. One little girl was talking to her fish and making it move its mouth and talk back. It was quite a scene.

On Wednesday afternoon we continued swimming. As the tide rolled in the kids splashed and played in the water. Suddenly someone started screening "Snake!" Sure enough we say a little head peeking out of the water, swimming frantically. All of the kids ran out of the ocean and on to the beach while two tios tried to catch it and take it out of the swimming area. In the chaos, the tios ended up chasing the "snake" towards the beach where in emerged from the water. To our surprise it was not a snake that came out of the water, but in iguana! The poor thing was immediately pounced upon by approximately 50 children who proceeded to chase it around the beach. It was probably one of the funniest things I have seen in quite some time.

Thursday we awoke with the unfortunate knowledge that it was our last day at the beach. We still made our way down to the beach and swam and played for the majority of the day. After lunch we packed up the bus again, passed out the Dramamine and headed back to the Ranch.

The voyage to the beach was quite the adventure! It was so much fun to spend time with my kids in such a relaxed environment. It was amazing to see the excitement in the children! For some of them it was their first time ever seeing the ocean or large body of water! It was so cute and fun to see them experiencing new things. Although it was not exactly a relaxing vacation, it was a fantastic time at the beach!

Just Another Day at Hospital Escuela

Today I spent the day at the public hospital in Tegucigalpa, Hospital Escuela. This definitely wasn't my first visit to the hospital, nor will it be my last. Today I accompanied a little girl named Sarahi because she had her tonsils removed. Sarahi is three years old, and it is no secret that she one of my favorites. I know that I shouldn't have a favorite but I can't help it. She is absolutely adorable, so sweet, and continuously cracks me up. In fact, her family (she has two older sisters and a brother) are with out a doubt one of my favorite families on the ranch.

I arrived at Hospital Escuela bright and early at around 5:45 am this morning. I found Sarahi and her overnight care giver from the Ranch waiting in line at the bathroom. In the pediatric ward of the hospital each room can house up to 8 patients. There are approximately 5 or 6 rooms of this size. There is only one bathroom stall, and one shower for all pediatric patients. Needless to say, it is not a beacon of cleanliness. My first surprise of the day occurred when a well dressed transvestite stepped out of the shower in the pediatric ward. She (formerly he) was caring for her son who was staying in the same room as Sarahi. This ambiguous mom/dad ( I never heard the little boy address her as either) confused me and made me giggle a little bit all day!



After getting her cleaned up we played a little bit with the other kids in her ward before she was ready to go to surgery. I took her down to the OR and waiting in the hallway with the other parents until she came out. I watched patient after patient be pushed in and out of the OR on cold medal gurneys. No mattresses, no blankets fresh from the recovery room warmer! Finally after about 2 and a half hours they called me to come and push her back up to the peds ward.

She did very well in surgery and very well in recovery. She had some pain afterwards and handled it about as well as any brave three year old might. About two hours after we were back to the room and settled in, Sarahi's mother came to visit. Sarahi and her siblings are at NPH temporarily. They were taken away from their mother about a year ago and she has visited them fairly frequently ever since. I was caught a little off guard, but recognized her immediately because her other daughter, Karla, looks just like her. Sarahi's mother was very nice and cared for her well. However, it was still strange for me to be in that situation. When you work at an orphanage you don't often expect to run into the parents of the children! Also, they were taken away from her for some very good reasons so even though she had permission, I was a little apprehensive about her being there at first.

What surprised me most, is how I reacted to this situation. Like I said, Sarahi holds a very special place in my heart. For the past 8 months I have cared for her in Casa Suyapa and in the clinic. I have watched her grow and play and develop her own personality. I've tucked her into bed, kissed cuts and scrapes, and sung her songs until she fell asleep. I really have grown to love her and so many other kids so much during my time in Honduras. It was great to see that her mother really is trying to get it together and turn her life around. It was also wonderful to see how good and comforting she was with Sarahi. However, I felt very protective of this little girl. It was hard for me not to feel so angry with the mother because of the way she treated, and neglected her four beautiful children in the past. Her children are so smart, and good, and funny. They are all growing and thriving at the Ranch! There is so much that she has missed during the past year. It was so strange being there with Sarahi and her mother. When she cried she often reached for me. When she was in pain, she yelled for Tia Loli, the tia that faithfully takes care of the littlest kids day in and day out. I cannot even begin to imagine how it must of been for her mother to see her baby girl reach and cry for someone else.

I left the hospital exhausted. I did not realize how emotionally draining it had been until I stepped outside. I also left with the realization that I have come to love the kids at the Ranch so much. They make me laugh, teach me, push me to grow, and sometimes frustrate me beyond belief everyday! I have been so blessed that I get to be a part of their childhood, even if its only for a little while.

Back at the Ranch

I have been back from my 4 week hiatus for about a week and a half now. After spending a few weeks in Haiti, and then a bit more time at home in the States I have finally returned to Rancho Santa Fe in the beautifully sunny, yet scorching hot Honduras! We've entered the dry season here. Its incredibly hot and the Casa Suyapans are unbelievably sweaty but I am still very happy to be back in Honduras!

Being home in Holland for a little while. I had some time to see my family and friends, rest and relax, and prepare myself to go back to Honduras. After being in Haiti, I was exhausted! I don't think I was at home long enough to experience any of the reverse culture shock that people talk about. It felt like no time had past, like I had been away for a long weekend! The only times I think I felt culture shock were 1) at a Tim McGraw concert (the epitome of all things America), and 2) at Target. I wanted to buy everything in my field of vision. Even things I have no practical use for now or ever! Luckily I did not give into my desires considering my volunteer stipend only allows for approximately $100 dollars a month. Overall my time at home was wonderful and relaxing! I had the chance to spend some quality time with family and catch up with some of my favorite people.

Top 5 favorite things about being at home
1) Obviously spending time with family and friends
2) HOT SHOWERS! I had to reexamine by unconscious to discover that this did not actually outweigh the joy of seeing my family and friends.
3) My dog Benson
4) Food. All food. Period.
5) Being able to flush toilet paper down the toilet.

Although I was excited, I was also a little apprehensive about coming back to Honduras. I was gone for quite a while and I was not sure if things would be the same when I got back. While I was in Haiti a group of old volunteers and, some of my best friends, finished their year or longer of service and left. Also, a whole new group of volunteers came. I was worried that it would be a difficult readjustment. This uneasy feeling lasted for about a day, but the moment that I saw my kids from Casa Suyapa I knew that Honduras is where I am supposed to be right now! I missed them so much in my time away. They were so cute and funny when they saw me. I was tackled and knocked over with hugs and kisses and asked so many hilarious and innocent questions about Haiti. Some kids told me that they had thought I died! Others told me they prayed for me everyday and the people that I was taking care of. Within a few minutes of being there I felt like I was home. Many of the kids were very interested in what I was doing in Haiti. They asked tons of questions and wanted to see pictures. I showed them a few photos that were not graphic just so they had some kind of idea. After I finished showing them the photos of Haiti a few girls said "and now Ana, the photos of Chile!" I explained to them that I did not go to Chile, but they were confused. There was an earthquake in Haiti and I went, so obviously I went to Chile too since there was an earthquake there! I'm still not sure they understand that I did not go to Chile.

Things in the clinic have been going well. Last week a medical brigade from Minnesota came to our surgical center to do orthopedic surgeries for people who otherwise do not have access to this type of health care. I worked with the brigade as a nurse and translator. It was a lot of fun and a great transition back to life in Honduras. The brigade performed 30 surgeries over a span of four days. Along with people from the community, a few children from NPH had surgery. One being Jesus from Casa Suyapa. Jesus is a little boy with spina bifida who does not have any sensation and very little movement below the waste. His legs were extremely contracted and spastic. He had surgery to release the tendons in his knees so that his legs can be stretched outright. The hope is that with the surgery his legs will be more easily movable, and that he will be able to use the splints he has to walk with a walker. He was such a trooper through the whole thing and flirted with the nurses from admission to post-op. He will be casted for 5 weeks following the surgery. So far he has done extremely well and the surgery seems to be very successful!

I hope to update my blog more regularly in during the remainder of my time here! If you do not see an update from me for quite some time, please feel free to harass me via e-mail!

Also, I posted some photos from Haiti on picasa and I plan to update it with Honduras photos as soon as I have a chance! Here is the link: http://picasaweb.google.com/115605534828513780863

peace,
Anna




“Look at the nations and watch and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if I told you.” Habakkuk 1:5

The News from Haiti

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I am now back in the one and only Holland, Michigan after spending the last few weeks in Haiti. It is as cold and snowy as ever but I am so glad to be home, even for a short while! I know that it has been quite sometime since I last updated my blog and I have plenty to write. I am going to start with Haiti, since it is the freshest in my mind, and then work backwards through some of Honduras and Guatemala.

I left Honduras for Haiti during the first week of February. Nuestro Pequeños Hermanos has an orphanage and hospital in Haiti. Because of the earthquake, the hospital was inundated with patients from all over Port-Au-Prince. NPH actually had two hospitals in Haiti, but one was completely destroyed in the earthquake. One volunteer, Molly Hightower, the brother of a voulnteer, and a doctor were killed. This was pretty devastating for the NPH community in Haiti. Thankfully the actual orphanage was not damaged very much! Usually the NPH hospital, St. Damien's, is strictly a pediatric hospital, but due to the fact that so many adults were also injured in the earthquake, we began treating adults as well. Because of the influx of so many patients NPH needed volunteer nurses to go to Haiti and my volunteer coordinator in Honduras asked me if I would be interested in going. I didn't want to leave my little kids in Honduras for so long, and I knew that Haiti would definitely be sad and challenging, but in the end I really wanted to go. So I went, and after an incredibly long flight (Honduras to Guatemala to Costa Rica to the DR and finally a helicopter ride to Haiti) I arrived in Haiti.

Upon arrival in Haiti, I began work immediately! For the first week I was there I worked in the adult tents outside the hospital and in the urgent care tent. The first few days were absolutely insane. It was basically "organized" chaos, and everyone was running around as fast as possible to do anything they could. Still it didn't seem like there was enough time in the day to get everything done! I was caring for 15 to 25 patients on my own, and almost all had severe injuries such as crushing fractures and amputations. Many were post-op, but some were still waiting for surgery. I worked with a few Haitian nurses and two other American volunteers. We all worked 7am to 7pm, 7 days a week, and at night we were completely exhausted! Most volunteers slept in tents outside the guest house, or on the roof of the guest house. I spent the first week or so on the roof before moving into a room.

While working with the patients, it was very sad, and it was difficult not to feel overwhelmed. There was so much pain and suffering! I couldn't look at my patients as people who had been trapped in the rubble or who had been through such tragedy. I just had to see them as individual people, not related to circumstance, and focus on doing one task at a time with compassion. Luckily I was surrounded by an amazing community of fellow volunteers and had the opportunity to process shared experiences with them. The stories of the patients were so sad. There were children who were the only survivors of their entire family, there were parents who had lost every single one of their children, and there were people who had no idea if thier family members were dead or alive. There was so much chaos after the earthquake that even 4 weeks later, people were still looking for family. One of the saddest stories I encountered was that of a young woman that I took care of in the tents. She had been pregnant at the time of the earthquake and trapped in the rubble. She was one of the only survivors from her entire family. For some reason, whoever rescued her did an emergency c-section at the scene with no anesthesia. In the processes, they accidentially cut here bowel and bladder, leaving her with internal bleeding and other injuries. Sadly her baby died shortly after delivery, and obviously she was devastated. Thankfully, she was recovering well from her phsyical injuries but I cannot even imagine the emotional trauma and grief.

I also spent a lot amount of time working in the operating room. Disclaimer: I am NOT an OR nurse and knew very little about it when I started. They needed an OR nurse, had none, and so I volunteered and jumped right in. There was an amazing group of orthopedic surgeons from Seattle that were doing incredible surgeries. We had some of the best equipment in the country so we received patients from other hospitals and the navy ship, the USS Comfort. We did reconstructive surgeries, internal fixations of fractures, external fixation, amputations, and many skin grafts. The amount of people needing surgical treatment was, and probably still is, overwhelming! One day the group from Seattle performed 23 surgeries.



On the anniversary of the earthquake I went with others from St. Damien's to the mass graves to celebrate a Mass for the dead. The mass graves are located about 45 minutes outside of Port-Au-Prince. We went to the location where the government had dumped thousands and thousands of bodies, many unclaimed and unknown. Father Rick, the national director of NPH Haiti, has done so much to bury the dead and give people a respectful burial. The smell at the mass graves was indescribible, and although the bodies have now been covered, bones and body parts could still be seen on the ground. The mass was beautiful, but sobering. It was so hard to wrap your mind around the amount of destruction and death that was all around us. However, even in the face of grieving, the message at the Mass for the dead was one of strenth and hope!



Haiti was a huge challenge, not only for my nursing skills, but also for my faith and character. The people that I met there, patients and other aid workers, were incredible people who lived lives of such genuine compassion. There were two nuns, Sister Lorraine and Sister Magda, that were truly inspiring. They had both worked at NPH Haiti for more than five years in the past, and came back when they heard about the earthquake. These two women were funny and humble, yet full of so much faith and courage. Their lives were an amazing example of what it really means to live a life of service.



It was difficult to be surrounded with so much suffering and sadness, but new hope and joy were also evident at St. Damien's. So many patients seemed to have such strong faith and perserverance. I do not know if I could be as strong as anyone of them if I were in their shoes! Even though there was much sadness and grieving, every day I walked into the tents I was greeted with smiles. It was incredible and somewhat surprising to find joy in the midst of such a terrible situation.



The reality for Haiti is an extremely sad one. On top of terrible internal injuries, so many will need months and months of rehabilitation or remain permanently disabled. There are going to be generations of disabled and people with amputations. Also, the lack of infrastructure in Haiti and astronomical amount of damage is going to make it incredibley hard to rebuild. I hope and pray that the 1st world will not forget about Haiti and move on to what is next! Haiti is going to need so much help for years to come. Please keep NPH and Haiti in your thoughts and prayers!


That's all for now. Hopefully I will be better at updating more frequently!

Peace,
Anna