Last week a woman from a nearby village came for a consult at the external clinic. While I was triaging the patients I asked her why she came for a consult that day. She responded by telling me that she was pregnant and she came for prenatal care. I asked her how far along she was and she did not know, but she thought she was quite far, like 7 or 8 months. Hopefully I did a fairly good job at hiding the shock and skepticism on my face because I did not in anyway believe that this woman was 8 months pregnant. I wouldn't have even guessed she was pregnant if I saw her on the street. She left her appointment that day with a referral for an ultrasound so we could try to assess how far along she really was. She was planning to come back the next week with the ultrasound results. She didn't quite last that long...

Early Friday morning the ranch doctor (The amazing Dr. Merlin!) got a call from a patient saying that she had terrible back pain. He told her to come to the external clinic and that he would assess her when she arrived. She failed to mention the fact that she had just been to the clinic on Tuesday or that she was pregnant. Unfortunately it was my morning off from the clinic, but Laura, another volunteer nurse was working. When the woman arrived at the clinic Merlin examined her and could already see the baby crowning. There was no way that this laboring mother was going to make it to the hospital in Tegucigalpa before the baby arrived. Things happened fast and the external clinic quickly turned into a labor and delivery unit.

All and all, things went very smoothly. The poor mother was extremely tired because she had walked from her village and then taken a public bus to get to the clinic, all while in very active labor! In the end, mom and baby boy both did great and a new life came into the world at exactly 1:30pm on May 21st. The baby weighed around 7 pounds and was clearly full term. He needed oxygen for the first few hours, but soon turned a very healthy pink and did just wonderfully. They brought mom and baby up to the internal clinic where I spent two days and nights with them.

Even though it was a very joyful situation to see this new little guy come into world, it was very bitter sweet. The mother was very young and came from a very poor background. She made it very clear in the first few hours that she did not want to keep the baby. She did not want hold the baby and refused to breastfeed. Also, she did not name him. She was very adamant that she wanted to leave the clinic immediately and leave the baby at NPH. We convinced her that it was important for her health and safety to stay the night. I stayed over night in the clinic with her and the baby boy. I tried to sensitively talk to her and make her as comfortable as possible. I woke up every two to three hours to feed my little friend and make sure that the mother was doing well after the delivery.

Don't judge the hat! I know its ridiculous looking but it was all we had!

I spent the next two days at the clinic as well, caring for mom and baby. It finally came out the the mother had not told anyone that she was pregnant. She was planning to go home and never tell her family that she had had a child. She still lived at home with her mother, father, and sister. It was incredible to me that no one had known she was pregnant. Finally around 9 pm on Saturday she called her father. It was very emotional, but turned out very well in the end. Her family had been extremely worried about her. She had told them she was going to the clinic for a stomach ache on Friday and had never returned. They had even contacted the police and reported her missing. After she hung up the phone her mood was visibly changed. She showed much more interest in her new baby and even held him for a good portion of the evening. She was still wary about taking care of him and feeding him, but I helped her and taught her as much as I could about newborn care. During this time it also came out that she already had another child, a two year old daughter. Her sister, whom she lives with, helps her take care of her daughter. The next morning, her mother, father and sister came to the clinic. They were very happy to see their daughter and even more excited about having a new baby in the family. It was clear that the child was going to a family that would love him and want him very much. The mother's sister, who was currently caring for her other daughter, was more than willing and capable of caring for the child.

Watching my little guy leave was harder than I expected. Even though he had only been here for two days, I had still grown attached. I cared for him, fed him, bathed him, and cuddled him almost from the moment he was born until he left two days later. It was so incredible to see this new little life come into the world. It broke my heart to see that he was unwanted! He is such a beautiful little boy! I wanted to pack him in a carry on and head straight to the US. Also, when I found out that there was a possibility that he would stay at NPH I grew even more attached! I pictured him in Casa Suyapa and having the opportunity to see him grow for his first few months of life. Even though I was a little sad and apprehensive to watch the baby leave, I was glad that he would be supported and loved.

Although I was sad to see my unnamed baby go, my kids in Casa Suyapa soon cheered me up. They continuously make me laugh every day. The chiquitos, the group of the littlest kids, were extremely confused about this child. They saw me with him in the clinic and are still convinced that it was my baby. Every time I encounter them they ask "y tu bebe Ana?" "and your baby Anna?" One little girl was extremely concerned that I had left him alone in the clinic. Were still working on understanding that even though I take care of them, I do not actually have my own children. After 10 months its still a confusing subject for two yearolds.

Update: Rancho Santa Fe

Time continues to fly by, and I get closer and closer to finishing my year of service here. Even so, each day still holds adventure and new opportunities to learn and grow. I have been incredibly grateful for the past few weeks, both in the clinic and in Casa Suyapa. I have just been genuinely enjoying my time here and my relationships with the kids. I would love to update by blog more often and share all that is happening down here but I can hardly remember all of the things that happen on a daily basis, much less everything that has happened in the last few weeks. Here are a few highlights that have stuck with me.

Casa Suyapa: Every night I spend in Casa Suyapa is just hilarious. The kids are always saying and doing ridiculous things and each day I get more attached to them. I love them so much! I cannot imagine what it will be like when they are not a part of my daily life any more. Most recently, the children have taken to calling me by by full name. Usually its just Ana Blauw, with an excentuaded auwww at the the end of Blauw. That noise does not really exist in Spanish words so they think it is really fun to say! Sometimes they even go for the Ana Ruth Blauw. It continuously cracks me up. At any time I may here my name being called from all corners of the Ranch. They other day I was walking by the office and out of the window I heard a little voice yelling Ana Blauw, Ana Blauw, Ana Ruth Blauw. It was a Dulce Milagros, a very vocal two year old from Casa Suyapa.

Clinica: One of the best parts of my job in the clinic is that when new children come to the ranch they first spend a week in the clinic. They do this so that they can be checked out medically, but also so they can ease into life at the Ranch slowly. Through out their week in the clinic they slowly integrate into the home they will be living in, and then on Friday night they move to their permanent house. Recently we had a little two year old girl named Evelyn come to the Ranch. She actually stayed in the clinic for two weeks because it was suspected that she had Tuberculosis. Luckily this did not turn out to be true, and she was negative for TB, but she still remained in the clinic until she was healthy enough to move to Casa Suyapa. It is so amazing to see the transformation of kids when they come to the Ranch! Some are incredibly malnourished or sick, and within a few months you can begin to see a real change in them. Some have been terribly abused or abandoned and are incredibly timid or angry. The change in this children is also evident as they spend more time in a loving and supportive environment. Evelyn, the most recent addition to our large family, came to the Ranch because her mother is in the end sages of AIDS and will most likely pass away soon. Evelyn herself is also HIV positive, but is very healthy and taking a full load of antiretroviral medications. Her story is quite sad because not only was her mother very sick, but she also suffered from a variety of mental illnesses as well. As a result Evelyn was abused by her mother, and even left in the bottom of a latrine. When she first came to the clinic, she was incredibly shy and did not speak a word for an entire week! In here three short weeks at the Ranch she has changed immensly and is such a beautiful, loving little girl. She still does not speak often but smiles all the time.

NPH Honduras sponsers four children who do not live at the Ranch, but who live in the village nearby and attend the local public primary school. Recently our national director went to visit the school and noticed that so many of the children appear to be malnourished and suffering from a variety of health problems. He asked our doctor, Merlin, and a few nurse to visit the school and screen the kids. Yesterday we walked to the school and screend 40 of the 84 children there. We are planning to go back next Thursday to see the rest. This experience was quite possibley one of my favorite that I have had so far in Honduras. It was incredibly interesting to see how different life is just outside of the Ranch. Our neighbors are suffering, and the kids are not getting enough to eat. Many walk miles and miles to school eachday without shoes and without eating anything for breakfast. This lifestyle is typical in most parts of Honduras. Children and families are in need of health care, better nutrition, and health education. Merlin, another nurse, and I weighed and measured all the children, gave out mulitvitamins and anti-parasite medication. We talked about basic things life safe drinking water, hand washing, and the importance of brushing your teeth. We identified quite a few kids who need further treatment and they will be coming to our clinic at the Ranch on a regular basis to recieve further care and medications for free. It was a wonderful experience, and I am looking forward to doing more health teaching at this little public school.

I wish I could add more pictures to my blog, but alas, without my own computer its a struggle to upload photos. I will try to add photos soon!

Peace,
Anna

Oh How Time Flies!

Here I am, still in Honduras, nine months and five days after my journey began last July. Somehow I have survived thousands of communication errors, a military coup, weeks of country wide, curfew, three medical brigades, working in Haiti after the earthquake, and multiple Ranch kid emergencies. I may be prematurely aging, but I think I will come out no worse for the ware in the end.

The past two weeks have been quite a whirlwind. Between returning from the beach, a crazy week at work, and having two visitors, time has flown. First, my visitors came last Saturday. My dear cousin, Mary, and friend, Austin, came to the Ranch. It was really good to see familiar faces from home, and have the opportunity to introduce them to my life here. It was slightly odd to have my two worlds intersect, but it was really great. I am so glad they got to see my kids, the clinics, and Honduras.

Because Honduras has become my home, it is sometimes hard for me to remember the harsh realities and enormous poverty that surrounds me here. It becomes common place and I forget how much inequality and suffering there can be. Last week, a large reminder of these things was carried into the clinic. On Tuesday a two month old baby was brought to the clinic by his parents. He was extremely malnourished, dehydrated, and very sick. He had, had a twin but the twin died the day before becasue of the same ailments. The poor little thing only weigh 7 pounds at two months. He looked like a premature newborn. His fontanels, or soft spots, on his head were extremely sunken in because of the dehydration, and he was two week to even cry. I spent a good portion of the day hold him and feeding him oral rehydration solution through a syringe. His parents did not want to stay at the clinic with him, but we finally convinced the mother to stay so we could try to teach her how to take care of her baby. The mother and father were both very young. They came from a very poor village nearby, and niether one could read or write. They had little to no education and no idea how to take care of their baby. The baby and his mother stayed in the clinic for 6 days. We rehydrated the baby and made sure that he is getting adequate nutrition. The nurses and Dr. Merlin worked with the mother each day, teaching her what her baby needs and how to take care of him. By the time he was ready to leave he was looking much better. Still very small, but healthier! He and his mom will continue to come for weekly check ups for the next few months.

Last Friday brought another harsh reminder of the realities of life. The Ranch is so often such a happy place that I forget where my children came from. I forget that most of them have been abused or abandoned, and all of them have been through some sort of insufferable loss before they arrived here. Usually I just see them as children, happy and easy going, but last Friday I was reminded again of all the things they still have to overcome. Just after my visitors left I was working alone in the clinic. The rest of the staff were at a seminar at a hospital in Tegucigalpa. A 15 year old girl from the Ranch came into the clinic acting very strangely. I knew this girl fairly well from previous visits to the clinic and I knew that she had some severe psychological issues. She was severly abused as a child, lived in almost unlivible conditions, and her mother just passed away 5 months ago. In the past she has swallowed 3 needles and threatend suicide in other ways. After about 15 minutes she eventually confided in me her plans to try to committ suicide again. I really think that most of this was just a cry for attention, but even so it was a serious cry, signifying that things were not ok. I talked and listened to her for a few hours, trying my best to be as encouraging and therapeutic as possible. Eventually she calmed town and went to rest in her bed. After locking all sharp or dangerous objects in the pharmacy, I checked on her 10 minutes later and she was gone. She snuck out of the back of the clinic in attempt to run away from the Ranch. This girl had tried to run away before and I had no doubt that she was serious about her getaway. Thankfully she was intercepted and willingly came back to the clinic. This experience brought to light the terrible places where some of my kids come from. Sometimes they cannot escape them, even though they are at the Ranch. We have a large social work and psychological department working with so many kids, but sometimes it just is not enough to undo terrible pasts. This teenage girl was so desperate for love and consolation that it broke my heart. She stayed at the clinic through the weekend and has been seeing the psycholgoist daily. She is really doing much better. Even so, it is still so sad and sobering to see the lasting effects that her past has on her.

And so, after a fairly emotionally draining week I had the amazing chance to relax in a truly beautiful place. Some friends and I went to La Tigra for the weekend. It is a national park not to far from The Ranch. It is way up in the mountains in a beautiful little village called San Juancito. La Tigra is technically a cloud forest and is home to all types of tropical plants and animals. There is a German couple who live there and own a bed and breakfast. They rent out one small cabin and sell home made wine, bread, and jam. The view from the front porch of the cabin over looks a beautiful valley and the mountains beyond. I am slightly convinced that it is a little piece of heaven on Earth. On Saturday my friend Danielle and I went on a 3 hour hike to a beautiful water fall high up in the cloud forest. It was an amazing way to relax and rejuvinate for another week of work at NPH.

Well, that is all from me for now. I am going to try to update often in my three short months left here in Honduras! Sorry for no photos this time. My lab top officially died its long awaited death and I am now confined to a few very old, very sketchy Ranch computers.

Peace,
Anna